My Husband Wife is Dope!
Often as women we get lost in the shadows of other responsibilities such as being a wife or a mother, sister, aunt, volunteer, employee, etc. I call those “HATS” that we wear. I can’t tell you how many times I get called “Terrell’s Wife, His wife” or “Samai, Terrell & Kaniya’s Mom” What about my own identity? What about the talents and gifts that I possess inside of me that I know I can use to change the world?
In 2009 I was laid off from what I consider, the Best job I ever had! Instead of entering right back in the work force, I decided to take time off and eventually go back to school. I was now considered “A House Wife!” I loved it!!! Taking care of my Husband and my children, day in and day out, meeting all their needs and helping them in any way possible. I found myself settling in the role of “The House Wife.” It was great, life was great for my home, my family and I…
As I continued to be this great house wife and was continued to be called, “Terrell’s wife, his wife, Kaniya’s Mom, Samai Mom,” I started to ask myself the question, “what about me?” I started answering to people saying, “I have a name too!” I wanted my identity to be known, for all my hard work and efforts as a house wife, when you see my family well put together in public, That was me! When you visit and my house and its spotless, That was me! When you see my kids happy and my Husband blissful, That was me! All the cooking and cleaning, ME! I noticed that not only wasn’t I getting any recognition for being the house wife, I started to dig deep into the comfort of not going anywhere, not purchasing things for myself, not caring for me more then I cared for my family well- being, not putting myself first at times. It became really dangerous when I completely lost sight of my own dreams and desires for myself because I was working so hard to make my family happy and their dreams come true. NOW! Don’t get me wrong, I’m ALWAYS here to support and push my husband and my kids, but what about my own dreams and desires for my life??? Should I just forget about them because I’m now a house wife, is this my future?
I finally decided enough was enough and decided that being a house wife is not for me and went back into the corporate world. But there was still something missing! But I ignored it, I nestled inside of the comfort of working for someone else until one day that nagging feeling of my dreams kept coming up in the pit of my stomach, my dreams were starving, trying to dig themselves out of this dying Woman. But because I fell into the comfort of hiding behind all the “HATS” I was wearing, it was like a baby ready to exit the wound and I was laying there with my legs crossed refusing to push! I hid behind “The housewife, the Loving Wife, The Loving Mother, the Full-Time Employee.” So that’s why I was only known as his wife, her mother, employee of the month... The pain began to become unbearable.
For years every time I thought of living out my dreams, I used the excuse that I had too much going on already, my family needed me, it would be too much work, not enough time, etc…After years of hiding and asking myself, why am I not being called by MY name. I was reminded that there was something inside of me, a calling that was placed there from birth. Dreams and desires for Tramika and no one else, that begin to grow as a young girl and now it was full term and ready to be birthed. I decided that I will no longer hide behind the hats and stopped making excuses! I would wear the ALL the hats, balance them efficiently, but at the forefront would be Tramika! See ALL those other identities, his wife, her mother, could not be who they are without Tramika being who she is! My own identity of being unique, creative, powerful, intelligent, encouraging, empowering, make the other hats even that much better! For all the women around the world, its ok to be a house wife, loving wife, loving mother, employee of the month, Ms. Entrepreneur, sit on boards & volunteer with organizations but at the forefront of it all, we must remain true to ourselves, our identity and our own dreams and desires! It’s important that our identity, dreams and desires don’t get lost under one of the other “HATS”. If you haven’t already it’s time to give birth!
I became a Certified Life Coach so I can help women that are and were just like me. I know I have talents and gifts inside of me, but they are hidden beneath the hats of marriage and motherhood. I want to give birth but I’m just not sure if I would be able to balance it all. You can! If I can do it, you can too! I am now a Wife-Mom-Preneur, A multi-tasking woman who can balance being a Loving Wife, time-consuming duties of Motherhood & run a business as an Entrepreneur. I have my own company, Prestigious Events by Tramika Craddock as an Event Planner & Event Consultant, I am a Success Strategist to the Wife-Mom-Preneur where I help Women live balanced & organized lives through planning, I work in ministry, I’m the Founder of 2 Women Networks, I volunteer for over 3 organizations, and so much more! I now have my own identity, I gave birth to what was inside of me, my own dreams and desires that I have for MY life, My Purpose! And because I am true to myself it helps that much more in all the other “HATS” that I wear … So now if someone says “His wife,” I say, “whoever she is, My Husband Wife is Dope! I call her Tramika Craddock!”